Abused women must have done something to deserve a beating - Myths about the women - Common Myths - Domestic Violence Forum - The London borough of Barking and Dagenham.

Common Myths

Myths about the women

Abused women must have done something to deserve a beating

It is widely believed that the woman's 'nagging' or other 'unreasonable' provocations push the man to breaking point. These, so-called, 'provocations' range from simple requests such as money to feed the children and being able to see family and friends to failing to have a shirt ironed 'properly', not having the meal on the table at the 'right' time or refusing to be silenced.

Research suggests that it is a decision to be violent and as such has more to do with the man's behaviour than the woman's. In fact, most victims of domestic violence do everything they can to pacify their partners to avoid further violence. A 1984 Scottish study found that one in three domestic incidents was not preceded by an argument.

In the other two incidents, verbal conflict preceding the violence appeared to have been deliberately instigated by the perpetrator. Violence is never an acceptable method of solving conflict in relationships, nor do partners have a legal right to assault each other, whatever they may claim to have been the 'provocation'. Nobody asks for, or deserves to be, abused. Responsibility for the violence rests entirely with the perpetrator.

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Barking and Dagenham Domestic Violence Forum