Going into a refuge - Leaving home - Practical Help - Domestic Violence Forum - The London borough of Barking and Dagenham.

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Leaving home

Going into a refuge

Introduction

Many women and children leave home to go and stay in a women's refuge. Refuges are a form of temporary accommodation set up specifically for women and children escaping domestic violence. Some women go into refuges in a crisis situation without thinking about their longer term plans and some women go knowing that they do not ever wish to return home.

You can make decisions about your longer term plans after you have arrived and met with refuge workers. If you have been to a refuge before you will usually have to go to a different refuge to reduce the possibility of your (ex) partner finding out where you are. There are many different refuges across London and the UK.

It is not usually possible to get a place in your local refuge as this would not be safe for you and your children or the refuge as a whole. This is because your (ex) partner would probably find out where you were if you stayed in your local area. Going into a refuge usually means going some distance away from your local area (which may sometimes be described as your "danger area").

Refuges are at secret addresses which people are only given on a need-to-know basis. This means that they are one of the safest places to go as perpetrators (abusers) do not usually know where they are and so find it a lot harder to find or "track down" their (ex) partners.

In order to keep refuges as safe as possible most have strict rules and policies preventing people from giving out information about where the refuge is. This means that you may not be allowed to have any visitors to the refuge during your stay even though this may be difficult for you and your children.

You will probably not, for example, be able to tell your family where you are or have them round during your stay. Although this can feel unfair, it reduces the risk of your (ex) partner following them to the refuge or intimidating or tricking them into giving him information about where you are.

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Barking and Dagenham Domestic Violence Forum