I am concerned about my child copying the abuse - Children's experience of domestic violence - You and your children - Domestic Violence Forum - The London borough of Barking and Dagenham.

You and your children

Children's experience of domestic violence

I am concerned about my child copying the abuse

Many mothers experiencing domestic violence are afraid that their sons will copy the violent behaviour they have witnessed. One of the myths surrounding domestic violence is that it is caused by witnessing domestic violence.

In reality most boys who witness domestic violence do not grow up to become perpetrators. Your son may need to be reassured that most men are not violent and that he can choose to be different from your (ex) partner.

It is important that all children get clear messages from other people (including you) that violence and abuse are not "normal" or acceptable types of behaviour and that most men do not behave in this way.

Some children (including girls) do copy abusive behaviour and may need support in unlearning this behaviour. Most children who have become abusive towards their mothers as a consequence of domestic violence change their behaviour fairly quickly when they are away from the situation of violence. There are professionals who can help you and your children if this problem has developed.

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photo of a mother and two children

Contact
London Borough of Barking
and Dagenham Direct

Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm.

Tel: 0208 215 3000
Tel: 0208 227 5755
Textphone: 020 8227 5755
Email: 3000direct@lbbd.gov.uk

Barking and Dagenham Domestic Violence Forum