Support for Professionals
Providing advice and information on leaving home
- Try to offer clients experiencing domestic violence choices about their options. Each client needs to make her or his own decision about the best option for them. Each client's experiences are unique and there is no single "right choice". Most options have advantages and disadvantages and the client is usually in the best position to weigh up which option will work best for her or him.
- If you are working with women who are planning to leave or who have recently left abusive relationships always prioritise their safety and remember that this is likely to be the most frightening and dangerous time for them. Most (75% of) domestic violence murders (including those of children) occur at the point a woman tries to end an abusive relationship or within two months of her having left.
Gay men trying to escape domestic violence also face a greater risk of extreme violence when they leave. Heterosexual men experiencing violence/abuse from female perpetrators are less likely to be at greater when they end abusive relationships but each client's context should be looked at carefully and all clients should be offered safety planning advice/information.
- There are a range of organisations who are able to provide this support. Some clients prefer to contact other agencies themselves. Others may prefer to have a professional refer them to relevant services.
- If you are advising a client experiencing domestic violence never assume that they know what help is available. Always provide information on help and services available including specialist domestic violence services.
- If you give a client information about a particular option (e.g. going into a refuge) and she clearly states that she does not wish to follow that option you could explore her reasons for rejecting it to ensure that she is making an informed decision. If she is still clear that this would not work for her it is unhelpful to try to talk her into it. It is far more respectful and effective to find out what she wishes to do and to offer her information about other available alternatives. The client should always make her own informed choices and decisions about what to do.
- Some clients may get upset or angry when they find out what the options available to them are. Remember that this is a very stressful time for clients. Understanding and acknowledging that they have a right to feel upset and angry about the situation can diffuse tension in the worker/client relationship. You can only give clients information about what is available and act within these limitations. Most clients will understand this if you explain that you would like to be in a position to offer more but can only offer what is actually available. If the service offered at your agency does not meet the needs of the client then refer your client to a more appropriate service.
- You may feel pressured to provide "all the answers" to your client. This is probably unrealistic. It is ok to let clients know that you do not have all the answers. You may need to refer your client on to another service. You may also ask them if they would like you to try to find further information/help on their behalf.
- Try to be as clear as possible with clients about what your role is and what you and your agency can offer. Be clear about any action which you are taking on behalf of your client and summarise what you have both agreed on. Remember that when people are in crisis they may sometimes forget the details of what is said and agreed and it cannot hurt to summarise and reflect back on what you have talked about/decided upon.
- If you are working with a client who would prefer to remain in her home if she had help with additional security please read the section on the Sanctuary Project.
- Always ensure that you and your agency do not breach your client's right to confidentiality. Do not give out any information about clients (including acknowledging that you are working with them as this could identify where they are living) to others unless you are completely sure that you know who they are and that they have the right to that information. If you are unsure about this it is better to be on the safe side and check with your client first before you share information. Perpetrators of domestic violence can be very manipulative and may be "hunting down" their ex-partners. Giving out information about women and children who have escaped domestic violence can literally cost lives and often means that families are in perpetual flight mode (e.g. they leave, get found and are placed at risk, leave, get found and are placed at risk and so on).
- If you are working with a client who has a history of being tracked down by her ex-partner try to find out/work out how he keeps finding her so that you can work together to try to prevent another repetition.
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